Parents hate to say no to their children. This is especially true of parents who have gone without during their own childhood; they want their children to have everything they didn’t have. However, giving your child everything you didn’t have might slip into giving your child everything, and before you know it, you are enduring yet another tantrum in the toy shop because your little darling wants another new toy and frankly, you’ve had enough.
You do know, don’t you, that it is your fault entirely that you are in this position?
It may not be too late to put in some boundaries and stop your child from turning into a spoilt teen or, worse still, a spoilt adult. But far better not to go down that road in the first place.
Here’s why…
Spoiling your child doesn’t only result in their turning into a terrible screaming brat every time you walk past a toy shop. It also gives your child the false impression that they will get everything they want in life – and as adults, we all know that just isn’t true.
There are worse implications that come from spoiling children, particularly poignant given that many parents spoil their children out of a real misguided love. The child may receive gifts instead of their parents’ love, time or affection, meaning they lose out on the opportunity to enjoy unconditional love and also get love confused with material objects – causing them difficulty in relationships later in life.
For working parents who don’t have much time to give, it is easy to inadvertently spoil children. If you haven’t been able to spend much time with your child, you may come home with new childrens toys thinking that will in some way make things better. The truth is, it will make YOU feel better, for a while, but it will send out strange messages to your child. You might be setting yourself up for a better relationship with your child and providing them with a better example if you spend the money on a trip out – to the park, museum or movies, rather than on more childrens toys.
The reasons why it is better not to spoil children are varied, but it is mostly more about making sure they grow up into healthy adults. Rewarding good behaviour or achievements with money or gifts is a popular way of parents encouraging their children. And while it is reasonably fair to say that the world does reward hard work sometimes – it doesn’t always, and there are times when things like pride, honour and the belief in what we are doing has to motivate us because nothing material is available or on offer. If children don’t grow up being used to doing things for internal satisfaction, they are going to struggle doing it as an adult.
Being a good parent is something most people aspire to, and sometimes it feels as though we are always doing the wrong thing. Educating ourselves about the best way to bring up our children is a step in the right direction, whether it is by talking to other parents or reading parenting manuals.